He’ll say, “Are you married?” We’ll say, “No, man…”

“But you can mind your own damn business.”

ST. LOUIS- In a bold move designed to attract disenfranchised couples who have been ostracized from other Lutheran churches because of their cohabitation, a prominent Missouri-Synod congregation has reversed its policy on allowing cohabitating couple to commune.

Long seen as a “black eye” to its missional posture was the church’s position that couples living together should at least say “I’m sorry” before coming to the Lord’s Supper. Not anymore.

Senior Administrative Pastoral Vision-Caster Ted told the Organ, “Legalism is passé. What matters isn’t how you live as long as you’re a member of a church—preferably ours—and give an offering at least semi-regularly. The only rule Jesus gave us is the Great Commission.”

So far, numerous couples from “less-pastoral” congregations have expressed interest in a church that will allow them to be in fellowship without regard for what happens in their bedrooms (or cars, hotel rooms, county water towers, or sandy beaches). One anonymous couple said, “We want to go to church and have some wine and crackers without everyone passing judgment on us. And we want our children to have a place where they feel welcome to run around and scream like rabid wildebeests. We just weren’t getting that at [DELETED] Lutheran Church.”

According to Pastor Ted, “What’s worse: having a couple living together not going to church because they have hurt feelings or having a couple in a committed cohabitation who aren’t afraid to come to church? It all comes down to a church’s dedication to mission. If you’re in a missionary position, you’re welcome here.”